Tuesday 1 April 2008

Project Virgle, some new ideas for Google

Hello everyone, I am Pranav Prakash, and i have recently been
recruited by Google. Now that was a classified information for Project Virgle, but still,
i had talks with Page, and he has allowed me to express some of the
upcoming projects, in a very brief manner.
So, here on behalf of Page, i present some of the upcoming
technologies of Google.

[1] Google Anti-Virus

When humans will reach on Mars, so will the viruses that are in and
around our body. Research scientists at Google India Bangalore center
have found that almost 60% of the viruses will have tendency to mutate
with a probability of 86.354%. And also, some of them will start to
infect your computer, by attacking Hard Disks. These viruses need
exactly the same amount of temperature that is emitted by the CPU's
processor or by the rotation of your HDD. So, the most favored
destination of the viruses are our PCs only. The worst news is that,
in the next 10 years of living on Mars, the viruses will be
genetically adapted to embed themselves into your files, documents,
videos and other data. Since, all the Earth-Mars data will be
interrelated, this is a serious threat to our survival. In order for
the human beings to exist, Google is about to release a completely new
Google Anti-Virus, which apart from cleaning those viruses from your
PC, will also clean them from your hardware, and your surroundings;
thus providing a complete safe environment for us.

[2] Google Zipper

The next big problem, humans will face is that of payload capacity.
Senior scientists at NASA, Virgin and Google have found that, owing to
the extremely slow speed of escape velocity ( 11.2 Km/sec), the space
shuttles and vehicles can have a definite, limited payload capacity.
Currently we are using only 3% of that capacity, however soon, we will
attain a 100% capacity and no further payload per ship is possible.
Because of this, they have created a Google Zipper, which will zip and
compress all your belongings like clothings, food, DVDs almost
everything into a very small space, thus utilizing the maximum we can.
This project has also been proposed in the Google Summer of Code
2008.

[3] Google Zion

Well, i really don't know what have they planned for the name of that
human society on Mars, but there are some strong personalities, who
are planning to name it as Google Zion, which evidently has been
inspired from the movie The Matrix.

[4]Google Tank

This is the most innovative concept, that google is doing at their
world headquarters. Google tank is similar to looks in just another
vessel tank. However, there are some characteristics that make it
remarkably different. The tank is capable of holding almost 6,425
barrels (and growing) amount of liquid/ gas in it. This makes sure
that Mars will have a never ending supply of Water, Beer, Oxygen, and
Pollution (which humans are used to live with). Just install one
Google Tank for each of the element, and it is there. Please note,
that this will be controlled centrally by Google, and is not an
individual application.

[5] Google Army

Finally, the most important thing, the Google Army. In order to
prevent any external intrusion over the planet, google has it's own
army. This army primarily consists of spiders. Of all the living
creatures on earth, spiders are most intelligent, logical, and hard
working. Initially spiders were good for nothing, but as Google
granted equipped them, with Artificial Intelligence and gave them the
ability to crawl at slow, normal and fast pace, they have shown
remarkable swarm intelligence, thus proved themselves, to be "the"
candidate for Google Army.

Now, as you might be reading the ending notes of this historical page,
Gogle has already set two cookies in your browser, which you can't
delete, edit or modify. These cookies have special purposes. They are
colored cookie, if you manage to get the red cookie out of your HDD,
you will be staying on earth only. If in case, you are lucky and
hardworking and innovative, then you will find the blue cookie. Upon
eating of that cookie, there will be a special tattoo on your arms,
providing you with a unique number, for the Mars trip.

You can have a detailed insight at Google's official blog. This is also available on Google Groups.

--
Will be updating this section, as and when i will be getting more
information. :-)
Have a Virgle Time ahead.

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